Just about everyone making everything worse.

Okay so thers person or pplz they don't givva right nut about me and they tlk about me but then when im around im a effin goddess, i hate it they talk about me sooo much, " she's jelous were so close, she's jelus cuz we went out, she doesnt like me becuz i wont hang out with her, she's so frikin immature, she needs to think before she says, she needs to keep A LOT of thoughts in her head. She talks so freakin much " Ect. This makes Me mad... When half of the class is talking then you yell at the nearist person " YOU GUYS REALLY? SHUT UP GOD" then when they talk when its like silence "Calm down, you do it alllll the time" Ugh. Eff Yu Man. Yu dont even caare about me. why do you talk to me..? im not rich, popular, beautiful, Why? is it just for the thrill of torture, is it that im so easy to crush, i take in what EVERYONE says so its OKAY to take your anger out on me the one who's just trying to be happy. I really try not to be upset i try to put on a smile but underneath that akward laugh is a girl wishing she could fit in, trying to change so i dont hurt anyone so i wont, annoy anyone so yes to servive in this world you have to be 2-faced, you have to put on atleast one stupid fake smile.

My Life

My life is very confusing. Not very interesting. Not much going on i have a mother that can some times be stubborn and a dad that can yell about any thing, but not abusive at all. I think hes strong if he can hold in all that anger and not hurt anyone. i would say im a daddys girl. I think my moms selfish i think she only cares about herself and she only shops for herself when we go shopping. she complains about not having any money then she goes out and buys 200$ shoes. well i dont hate her because she brought me into this world but i really dont care it doesnt mean she needs to hold that aginst me. but we do have our moments i guess. i really try to ignore but im a drama queen. well anyways i hate grammer i cant spell im not very good at anything on the outside i try to be a ball of joy but on the inside im a crushed teen hoping for more. hoping for someone i can trust someone i can tell everything and can trust them not to tell anyone. People call me annoying say im to happy and they cant handle it i dont want to change for anyone but i find myself trying to just to impress someone, just to meet someone new and be less hated. im a sensitive girl anything ANYONE says will get to me and make me think about it 24.7 i end up emberassing my self one way or another. everyone says high school is supposed to be fun but i dont know ill see. Everyone here has already lost their first kiss or what ever. im to scared i think im to scared to grow up but the futures comming and i need to become an adult. I hate the way i look i would give anything to loose weight but im i give up. im only 13 and im already concidering geting lypo. i admit i have a lot of good friends but not a best friend one you want, like in a movies..yes i know most of the things in movies most likely wont come true but it doesnt hurt to try.